


spark a fire in the dark

by SkylandMountain1013



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, These two love each other, angst with a side of sexytimes, my goodness, post 5x17, sexytimes with a side of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 11:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14331477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylandMountain1013/pseuds/SkylandMountain1013
Summary: Phil Coulson, master tactician, should have known that while time travel and torture were no match for him, Melinda May would be the one to finally break him.





	spark a fire in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> I’m just as shook as the rest of you over this past episode. 
> 
> I’m not sure how I feel about this- but I needed to get it out.

When his synapses start firing again, his first thought is that he should be happier. 

His second thought is that he needs to find her. 

So he roams the halls and stops just short of the doorway to her quarters. Melinda doesn’t acknowledge him, but he can see her tense ever so slightly. 

She knows he’s there. 

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen,” he sighs. 

“Clearly.” Her answer is punctuated with a bitter laugh. 

Tension hangs in the air between them and he hates it. He feels like he’s moving in slow motion. “Can I?”

She nods without making eye contact. 

Phil shuffles inside and again finds himself at a loss for words. There’s so much they should talk about- but his brain is on a constant loop. He paces, heels digging into the thin carpet, hand absentmindedly scratching at the nape of his neck. 

“It’s been a long day, Phil. Unless you need something, I’d rather-“

“Did you mean it?” He blurts, words tumbling out of his mouth. 

Her head snaps up, eyes completely unreadable. “That’s a stupid question.” 

Maybe he deserves that, but it still stings. He can’t help but bite back. “Yknow, It’s been a whole lot of insults today-“

Her hand wraps around his wrist, just enough for the heat to stop him in his tracks.

“You tell me, Phil.” He thinks her face has softened a fraction. Her voice certainly has. “What do you think?”

He looks down at their skin touching and backs away. It’s too much for him to process right now. His emotions betray him and he feels pinpricks at the corners of his eyes. Hands in his pockets, he looks up and tries to swallow the lump that’s formed in his throat. 

Phil Coulson, master tactician, should have known that while time travel and torture were no match for him, Melinda May would be the one to finally break him. 

He knows the answer to her question. The answer doesn’t make him feel better, though. 

Finding a whisper of a voice, he starts slowly. “I don’t- I don’t deserve it.” the mattress creaks as Melinda stands up. He takes a shaky breath and pushes forward. “I hurt people. I hurt you. And that’s going to continue to happen and there’s no stopping it.” He’s still staring at the ceiling, but he sees her enter his periphery vision. “What if I try everything, and the world still ends? How is that deserving of anything?” He bounces on the balls of his feet and wills himself not to cry. 

“Look at me,” she says. Her voice is as strong as his wary. 

When he does, he’s met with a gaze that he’s seen so many times before- but now he finally recognizes the emotion behind it. 

It’s enough to cause him to temporarily push all the reasons he shouldn’t out of his brain. 

It’s his turn to grab her wrist, pulling her to him with force. His lips crash against hers- a part of him knows this should be sweet and gentle but it’s not. It’s messy and desperate and soon he is running his tongue against the valleys of her mouth. She is pushing back with the same amount of eagerness and swallows a moan as he runs his hands up her chest. 

When they break for air he immediately buries his nose in the crook of her neck. “I love you,” he pants. “I love you and I need you.”

She pulls his head up to her level again and traces a thumb across his lips. “Nothing about this is going to be easy. I know that.”

He nods. 

“But we try, Phil. Both of us.” 

She starts to push his jacket off his shoulders. “Now. Your clothes are still pretty damp,” she muses. He sees a hint of a smile. 

He shrugs. “The day got a little out of hand.”

One hand rakes against the top of his shoulder while the other one guides him back towards the bed. “How about we work on getting you warmed up?” She places an open mouth kiss on his jaw and he groans. He can feel himself half hard already. 

He slides out of his shoes and socks as she works on pulling his shirt over his head. He waits for her reaction to the manifestation of his injury- but it never comes. Instead, she traces the spiderweb of lines across his chest with her fingers, ending with a kiss pressed up to his scar. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m so sorry.” 

Melinda shakes her head. “Focus on this. Right here. Right now.” 

She moves so she’s straddling him, and words fail him for a second time. She rises up on her knees so he can shimmy out of his pants and boxers. He is now rock hard and she takes a moment to drag her nails across his length. He thinks he might lose it right there. 

“Melinda,” he groans. 

Phil reaches out and hooks his thumbs in the hem of her shirt. She meets him halfway and stretches to pull the garment off. 

“Beautiful,” he manages. “Always.”

The rest of her clothing follows soon after and he’s quick to pull her back against him, rolling them over so he covers her completely. 

He meets her gaze and she nods ever so slightly. It’s all he needs. 

There isn’t much talking after that- bodies join, slick with heat and sweat. Neither of them last long- exhaustion catches up quickly. He swallows her scream as she rides the wave of her climax and then chants her name against her lips as his own crashes over him. 

When he fades back into reality he feels the most like himself that he has in months. Melinda curls around him, resting her head against his shoulder. 

He knows that this fixes nothing- everything will be waiting for them in the morning. 

But as she drifts off to sleep against him- mumbling a sleepy “I love you” over his heart- he thinks he might be finally ready to fight.


End file.
